My new life

     I’ve been patiently awaiting either a rush of inspiration, or a moment post-significant relaxation in which to continue to comment on what has commenced in the past weeks.  However, neither occurrence has surfaced and therefore the most recent documentation update is coming from a less-than still mind and body.  So much life and activity surrounds me here, I’m fairly certain that those moments I wish for will be quite infrequent.  It has been just over two weeks since I’ve arrived in Beijing.  It feels, however, that I’ve been here at least a month.  I have surely exhausted myself more than a typical month within my time here.  

Already I’m easily getting distracted by everything else possibly accessible to me.  Damn you internet.

(24 hrs later.. my blog has a new background ;) )

So back to my new life.  We took our second trip to IKEA today.  Big items this time.  Floor rug, mattress pad, comforter.  Slowly starting to feel more homey.  And grocery shopping this morning.  Exhausting.  I never really liked grocery shopping.  I feel so helpless and unequipped in skill to actually create something edible and tasty with all the random ingredients at hand.  China, as you may have guessed, is no easier.  I really need to get personally acquainted with the kitchen wok and other stir fry paraphernalia.  Learning some names of Chinese food might help too!  But in general, Chinese food is pretty awesome.  Especially dumplings.  And anything in a weak soup broth, and all the noodles.  We bought this yoghurt last week; turns out it’s supposed to be a beverage even though its in regular looking containers.  Chinese really like yoghurt drinks.  And KFC.  There is one open across from our apartment that’s open 24 hrs. 

Trying to get in the rhythm of life here.  Working at night, getting something (but usually nothing) done during the day, lots of dinners out until I can learn to cook (thank goodness food is pretty cheap).  Still adjusting to the rock-hard bed and hoping that the mattress pad we bought today will help.  Feels like, since about my 2^nd or 3^rd day here, that I’ve become less and less integrated with true Chinese culture.  Granted, the area I’m in now is much more ‘modern’ than the hotel area I was put up in my first week.  Less traditional, and in a way, less authentic.  Although we are still surrounded by 99.9% of Chinese people every day, I still work in a mall, and many labels in shopping stores are in both Chinese and English.  Additionally, I feel almost guiltily over-surrounded by English and English speakers.  At home, I’m overhearing a fair amount of German when Jan’s on the phone or listening to the news online, and of course we’re always speaking in English.  Then I’m headed to work from about 1pm -9pm in an ‘English Only’ environment, and soon after, back home to bed.  I feel constantly exhausted and I keep waiting for this to pass and for the next rush of energy to carry me into new motivations, including Chinese immersion.  Between apartment cleanings, occasionally but more frequent than preferred stomachaches, and long working hours at a new job, I’ve admittedly pushed language study and exploration temporarily to the side.  And now, I feel like I’m almost not in China anymore.  Other than the fact I can’t understand anyone on the street and they all look Asian, I could be in any other totally new environment.  I haven’t been actively learning and soaking in culture as I so long to do.  Feeling only tired, tired, and more tired, there is little energy left at the end of each day even for this lovely text I’m writing.  I have been reading more though, almost as an excuse for ‘doing something.’ 

The Chinese course that I can take through my company is only every 3mo., and I need to join at the start of the next session; yet no one seems to know when that may be.  Unanswered or inadequately answered questions are continually frustrating for my ‘need-to-know’ and plan-ahead New York mindset; along with the spotty internet connection and other less convenient life pleasures.  Truly, though I don’t mind inconveniences; I just want to enjoy learning from and experiencing them and it hasn’t felt that way. 

Sorry for the pessimistic outlook lately.  I don’t know what’s up with me.  I like it here, I think.  I’m still taking it in, and still a bit overwhelmed by all the changes. 

Missing a bit of WNY’s crisp autumn air and the ‘back to school’ feeling and the trees.